4 Months

Sweet Sophia,

Happy 4 months! I can't believe you've been with us that long! I still cannot believe that you are ours. I am just waiting for the day for someone to come and tell me that time is up and you need to go. Nothing makes me happier than to know that you are indeed ours and we get to watch you grow and grow!!!

And growing you do! You are now 12 pounds, 11 ounces and 26 inches! Love my girl! You've been having shots every month so that you don't get as many in a sitting, even still you're such a champ. You hardly let it bother you.

Gigi and Pops watched you for one evening so that Mama and Daddy could have a date night out. Even though you weren't a fan of the bottle you behaved so well! They love their time with you. We started having you drink more bottles while Grandma and Grandpa came last week to visit. They love you SO much! You adore your grandma. With just a glance your way, you smile and smile right back. Grandpa is still figuring out how to entertain you but loves you nonetheless. We started some cereal while they were here. You weren't a huge fun but caught on before we knew it and were eating away! Can't wait to try other things with you too... Wonder if your taste buds with align more with your dads or your moms?

You are nothing but smiles and giggles. Even when you're positively exhausted you will smile. It's really incredible! We've gotten a few belly laughs out of you but can't wait till they become common. You love to look around and you are SO alert. So many people comment on it. Your current face favorite is when you tilt your neck down and give an intense stare. Sometimes a smile will end it but it is too funny!

The play mat and toys are your absolute favorite and music catches your attention quickly! The exercauser is another favorite because you get to stand up! You love to stand up and bounce! You've had a couple of other firsts recently too: first time in a high chair, first pool swim (it was too cool and you weren't a fan), first birthday with grandpa and first little mini road trip.

Schedules definitely make you happier! You currently sleep between 5-10 hours straight at night. Last night was 10 and the night before 9! You wake up, have about an hour of awake time and go down for a 45 minute nap. Then you're up for another 2 hours and down for a 2-3 hour nap. Your last nap is only about an hour then you're up till 8 when you go down for the count! You may wake up crying but are happy within seconds.

Mom and Dad love you so much and are so excited for all the growing you've done and all you will do. I never want to miss a moment though. It is definitely going by way too fast.

Love always,

Mama

2 months

Dear Sweet Sophia,

You are two months old today and I cannot believe it. How is it possible to both feel like time has flown and that you have always been here.

You have brought so much joy to our lives. You smile often and do your own version of a laugh. Your happiest time of the day is right away in the morning. Laying on your back is your favorite. It looks like you might be a busy baby because your legs are always kicking!

We are so enthralled with you. Today you made your daddy jump up and down because you clucked your tongue. I was so proud at how you calmed down after your shots. You are a champ.

I pray everything lovely for you and somethings hard because without the hard the good wouldnt look so good. I pray you will love the little things in life not just the big things.

I love watching you grow and cannot wait to see you love, live, laugh and learn.

Love you my girl,

Mommy

New Year, New life- New Start!

At the end of 2012, we welcomed a little baby girl into our lives. It really is the most incredible thing and I adore being a mom! Due to being nauseous most of pregnancy I only gained 15 pounds. It was a huge blessing as I was already overweight and wanted to not have to lose as much afterward. I'm already at pre-pregnancy weight but that is definitely not my end goal.

With the new year rings in all the goals that we all place on ourselves. One of the top of course is always fitness, weight loss or something to that extent. Of course I am no different. But to me, this year is a start of a new life. I'm a mama now. I have to practice healthy habits in the kitchen and in exercise. I need to show my daughter that she doesn't need to be afraid of food but neither does she need to allow it to take over her life. She is in control of her habits and that life is so much better when we're able to live it to the fullest instead of always "what ifs" and "I will whens".

So my "what if" this year will be me in a smaller size of clothes- lookin' good! My "I will when" is now an I did. I did join a gym and I did work out today. Instead of getting upset at myself when I miss a day, I'll just make it the next day. Each day fits into the bigger picture so each day is a step to the goal. I'm so excited to be able to say when I've lost 5-10-20-50 pounds but even more so I'm excited to be able to tell my daughter that if Mama can do it- so can she.

Our Birth Story

Almost 3 weeks ago our life changed forever with the birth of our baby girl- Sophia. Her due date was 12-18-11 but since we were intending to go all natural we knew it could be about 2 weeks on either side. We were so willing to wait but of course so antsy to meet her! It didn't help at all that she was LOW from about 36 weeks.

A friend of mine had introduced me to the Bradley Birthing Method when we were searching out child birth classes. Of course (if you know me, this is absolutely NO surprise to you), I had done quite a bit of research on child birth, different methods and techniques and our options prior to the class but I felt like it would be a great experience for Joe and I together. As much as I wonder if I really needed the class, I know that it cemented good things into our heads and best prepared us for what was to come. Our Bradley instructor assigned different topics to each couple to give a pro/con and information about. Ours happened to be vaginal exams. Interestingly, very few couples know that this is an actual option. You do not need to start vaginal exams at 36 weeks or really ever. They are not perfect, always helpful or always predictive of how things will end up.

Our hospital OBGYN clinic rotates you through doctors towards the middle/end of your pregnancy so you meet each one just in case your doctor cannot make it. We had 2 appointments left before we went back to our doctor at 38 weeks and decided to not have the exams at either one of these. At 36 weeks they did a quick ultrasound to confirm she was heads down and the doctor commented on how low she was in my pelvis. Again at 37 weeks the next doctor was surprised at how low she was. 38 weeks we were back with our preferred doctor (who really was awesome and a super blessing as she fit us as a couple great), and we decided to do a vaginal exam to see how far I was progressed. The guess that everyone had that baby was low was no joke as she was at 0 station at 38 weeks. I was also 2cm dilated and 90% effaced. This really brought hope that she might come early but I tried not to get my hopes up knowing that she could also come 2 weeks late! My mom arrived just days later for her scheduled trip. She bought an one way ticket to come help me prepare, be here for delivery and help transition into motherhood after. Since it was just a couple weeks before Christmas we finished up our Christmas shopping which really doubled as a great workout and exercise with all the walking!

At 39 weeks I was checked again and was at 3 cm, +1 station and 100% effaced. We were given the option to have a membrane sweep which basically stimulates the prostglandins which help jump start labor (that is IF and ONLY IF your body is actually ready- otherwise you're just uncomfortable for a couple days). Our doctor cautioned us that if it worked then we would be in labor within 24 hours. Again, it was hard not to hope but just wait it out...

This appointment was on a Tuesday and I continued to have cramps that I likened to period cramps until Thursday. Around noon I called L&D and asked how long the cramps should continue and they gave me the heads up that these were contractions and I should start timing them. For the next two hours I did so and realized that they were coming about 1 min apart and 1 min long... We piled everything up and headed to the hospital to get checked out. They confirmed that I was indeed having contractions, that baby was fine but I was only 3.5 cm and they wouldn't admit me until at least 4. Back home we went to wait! In the meantime I took a nap, played cards and tried to relax. The contractions quit for a while so I had a slumping feeling that maybe baby wasn't going to come that night. My sweet hubby decided not to go to work as he had the hopes that baby was going to come even still... Around 10 everyone decided to try to get some sleep, which they did successfully but I started having strong contractions again. After laying in bed for awhile I decided to get up and start timing the contractions. I was having them again 1 min apart and for 1 min long but this time MUCH stronger. After about an hour of them I went upstairs to let my mom know what was going on. She reminded me to have patience and wait (so hard when you just want to meet your little girl!) so back downstairs I went to continue to time the contractions. On my way down the stairs however, I had another contraction. My mind immediately thought of the fact that real contractions happen while in movement and Braxton-Hicks do not. Of course this gave me some hope and I continued to time... About half an hour later I decided to wake up Joe since I had continued to have contractions while I knelt, stood, swayed etc. I wanted him to time me while I took a bath. This really was for two parts- I couldn't get warm and I wanted to see what the contractions did with water. They continued to go strong and at the same rate if not go faster so we decided to wake Mom up and head back to the hospital.

We arrived at the emergency entrance (all others were locked at that time of night) at 2am, filled out paperwork and headed upstairs to L&D triage again to get checked out. They again confirmed that I was having contractions, baby was well but I had only progressed to 4 centimeters which wasn't enough to admit me. After an hour of waiting they They gave 2 options: 1- go home or 2- get a sleeping "cocktail" if you will. This cocktail was a shot of morphine and an ambien to help me sleep in hopes of dilating more. It was real labor at this point so it really was just a matter of time and I couldn't help but think that there was no resting for me with the strength of contractions and that I really needed my sleep. We asked numerous questions about the safety of the drugs and I had Joe help me make the decision. As I told him: "My head is just not clear". We decided to go ahead and get the medication. I'm sure the nurses at this point were probably shaking their head thinking that I wasn't going to follow through with the drug free birth since I was taking these meds. They moved us to an actual room at 3am where Mom settled in on the sofa bed, Joe on cushions on the floor and I in the hospital bed. I was given the medication and tried to relax through the contractions. They continued to be strong and strong enough that I vocalized through each one. Long low oooooo's. In between I would go to the bathroom just from being uncomfortable and feeling like I constantly had to go. Between about 4:30-5 on one of these bathroom trips my water just burst as I was sitting on the toilet. I likened the feeling to a water balloon being popped with a pin. After finishing a contraction I called the nurse who came and checked for amniotic fluid. She confirmed that it was my water and did another check. To her surprise I had jumped to 7 cm. She quickly realized that this was indeed labor and was going to going to happen soon. She gave the doctor a heads up and let me labor. During one of her stops around 5:15-5:30 I told her I felt like I needed to push so she checked and was completely taken aback that I was now at 9 3/4 cm and really could have the baby at anytime. At this point she called the doc and told her to hurry and suited up just in case she needed to deliver. A respiratory specialist was called in just in case since the labor progressed way more quickly than they imagined it could (especially for a first time mom) and I had the morphine only about 4 hours before. The nurse kept having me breath through the contractions in order to resist pushing. It was probably the hardest thing to do and felt like hours even though it was probably only 20 minutes. About 5 till 6 our Doctor came running in. She tied up her hair with a big smile and asked how I was. Within minutes she was suited up and the bed was transitioned so I could push. We had already discussed with the doctor not wanting to push while being flat on my back since it is better to lessen the chances of tearing as well as quicken labor. Within minutes of pushing the doctor told me that she could already see the head and to keep on going. At 6:15 our little Sophia Grace was born. She was able to be immediately on my chest for some loving before being checked out. She had absolutely no respiratory issues and was as alert as could be. We had asked to delay the vitamin K shot and the eye ointment so in the meantime while waiting for the placenta to be delivered and for me to get some stitches (I had torn some) we just got to love on her.

We couldn't have asked for a better crew to work with in the hospital. We had several nurses that weren't assigned to us stop in and check out the "beautiful baby". We were told that she was the prettiest baby in L&D, which of course we are biased and agreed. She was born without a cone shaped head since she didn't sit in my pelvis for long and had the prettiest skin. Even though they were all so supportive of our plan and never once asked if I wanted pain medication everyone was very surprised that we made it without an epidural, Demerol etc. They were never intrusive or rude and just worked with our hopes and wishes. I actually felt very comfortable and relaxed in the environment despite labor pains. They were wonderful helping assist in nursing and teaching me about little tricks and tips which I really believe helped in me wanting to continue even with having to use a nursing shield. Not everyone has this experience in a hospital but we were truly blessed.

Announcing Sophia Grace!

Sophia Grace was born 12-16-11 at 6:15 am

a perfectly petite 6lb 14 oz and 19 inches

It has been an amazing two weeks with our little baby girl. Who knew your heart could swell so big with love?

Thankful

I was going to start this out on facebook but the list of what I'm thankful for just quickly grew and grew until I knew where it would end- my blog!

The last year has had its share of downs. We have struggled with where God wanted us, the losses of what seemed to be "the perfect job" for hubby, the frustration of waiting for our baby (we tried for over a year), relationship struggles, being squished in a hotel for 6 weeks among other things... These really don't compare though when I get to thinking all about the ways that God has blessed us this year. We may have struggled with where God wanted us and a job for J but we ended up in a way that couple be described as nothing short than a miracle in a job in Austin with an AWESOME company. We may have waited for over a year but when the stick turned positive so did my angst into joy. We may have had relationship struggles but have found a great church family that we feel is home along with many great new relationships blooming. We may have been squished into a hotel but we found a home that we get to grow into with a price tag of a much smaller home. It was an absolute blessing.

I'm so thankful this year. I'm thankful for:

-My God, I'm never deserving but He has really showered the blessings on us. He has provided beyond what our needs are and loved me beyond measure.

-My husband, he's been nothing but supportive this year. He's been such a hard worker, wonderful provider, excited father to be.

-My baby girl, I had hoped and prayed for her for over a year. I have yet to meet her but she's already completely changed my world. She makes me not only think of what kind of mommy, Christian, role model and woman I want to be but motivates me to be that person.

- My family, I've been so blessed to be in a family that truly loves each other. My parents and siblings have come beside me and completely supported my pregnancy and been so excited to be grandparents in a way that excites me too! I cannot wait to see each and every one of them interact with my baby.

- My husband's family, it's been so different to actually have family nearby and great to get to know them.

- My many friends and extended family, I've really come to see so many relationships in different light this year especially as they come alongside in their excitement about the baby. So many people already love this baby. She's so blessed... I have so many sweet friends that have blessed me this year and so many new friends that I can't wait to get to know better.

-Our dogs, they continuously make me laugh and smile and really remind me about the simple things in life.

- Our home, I never expected a home like this at 23 but am so blessed by it!

- J's new job, It provides for our needs and more as well as provides wonderful insurance, stability and future.

-Military, Especially being a veterans wife, I understand the military life and have a very great and deep understanding for the military family and their serving member. I am thankful that there are members that serve so that we have freedom. There are many that will not be able to be home with their family because of their sacrifices and my appreciation is very deep.

I know there is so much more out there that I'm thankful for that I just can't think of now. I am going to be really making a conscious effort to make every day a type of thanksgiving. We are truly blessed beyond measure as a nation and should live every day that way!

Thanksgiving according to a TCK

TCK: Third Culture Kid- "someone who, as a child, has spent a significant period of time in one or more culture(s) other than his or her own, thus integrating elements of those cultures and their own birth culture, into a third culture." This really is a great definition as its what I feel I went through. Spending 9 years overseas really gave me several different cultures to integrate into my own. I couldn't tell you where one part starts or ends, it just is woven into my being. When it comes to a holiday I find that often times I don't celebrate or see it normally.

Fall wasn't a normal fall when the weather was 90 degrees and up every day. There were no leaves changing colors and no raking to do. Pumpkin pie was only in the foreigners grocery store in limited quantity. Even with it being completely different you would still find all the expatriates trying to make it as much like home as possible. Out came the fall decorations and the cookbooks!

Our thanksgivings were never the same each year. We made the classic dishes with whatever we could find imported at the grocery store. The guests would rotate each year depending on who was needing a home to go to or who our close friends were. There were often times some dishes from other countries that other TCK families found to be "home" as well. We never knew what exactly Thanksgiving would entail except for a couple common denominators: lots of food, laughter and friends.

Now as thanksgiving approaches (next week! eeek!) I keep being reminded of how my thanksgiving was different growing up and how I wouldn't change it for the world.