Thursday, June 20, 2013

Love Bug

I wish I could get pictures for y'all. Mini me at 18 months is turning into a little love bug. She has been randomly providing hugs and kisses and it is absolutely melting this mama's heart!

She has the sweetest little spirit. When daddy comes in the house she screams "HIIII" and runs toward him. She may not want to be held for long but she wants to give him a hug.

The dogs also get a good bit of loving, even if its a little tough love sometimes. They will get kisses, hugs and sometimes they even play chase.

Skype is one of her favorite things. She gets to talk to her "friiiend" aka Grandma and Grandpa. She usually shares a big "HIIIIII", sometimes a random "Bah" (bye) gets mixed in, but almost always says "Um, no." What a crackup.

Speaking of talking, I absolutely adore catching her talking on a phone, she has several play ones that work just as well as mama's do.. (ha just kidding... mine plays videos.) She usually has a lot of jibber jabber but in the middle will say "UMMMMMMMMM". So fun.

As I'm writing this, she pats me and says "Hi" and then leans up and gives me a kiss. BE STILL MY HEART!

One of her newest things is to put her sunhat on (which she refuses to wear pool side etc) and march around. She may read with it or play with her toys but either way she thinks that she is one cool kid.

I adore being this little one's mama and am so grateful that I get to be there daily to watch her grow up and invest in her. She's one of my greatest gifts from God.

Monday, May 13, 2013

My Identity.

Growing up my identity was always the kid who moved a lot, a daughter, a sister, and always the Christian girl. It's been a struggle for me during most phases of my life for one reason or another. Along with being home schooled I was in 5 different schools before middle school. Most of the other kids had been raised with their class for awhile and I always felt like an outsider... 

The same identity continued and freshman year I remember a kid in my Christian school saying, "Nobody cares you lived in Singapore". Junior year we moved back to Singapore and for the first time in my life I went to a non-christian school. My identity then was not so much the outsider as it was the good Christian girl. My senior year I had a girl spreading rumors about me and talking about how happy I was always. Psalm 3 was my saving grace that year. I remember praying constantly with tears in my eyes and holding still to that God was in control and that [he] "was a shield around me,  my glory, the One who lift[ed] my head high.I call[ed]out to the Lord, and he answer[ed] me from his holy mountain." vs 3-4.
College was better but I still had my struggles as a lot of the kids came from the same areas and I just didn't know where to fit in. My parents also still lived overseas and so I was on my own for the first time. I'll admit it now but I allowed society to start to filter my thoughts. I have had dry and plentiful periods in my faith since high school on but as I grew into adult hood I started to allow other peoples opinions to have a marking place on my personal growth chart.

My life has changed again and again since 2008. I started dating my husband, married him, moved to Virginia, supported him during the navy and several career options, moved to Texas, had a little girl, bought a house, supported my husband with different schedules in work and adding school to his schedule, and I've tried to find my place in our new town. The move to Texas has been my hardest one yet (I've moved 10 times across state and the world) as I didn't immediately start work or school. Finding friends has been limited and difficult. It's either through church, Joe's work or through people I already know. Although I am Sara, I am now Sophia's mom and Joe's wife and my main work is the latter two.
In 2008 and 2009 I sought council about how to handle the beginning of the "claims" of my identity by others. It wasn't bad advice as I was advised to love as Jesus loved and to stand strong to who I am. The difference though is in how I interpreted the advice. Instead of pouring into myself and making sure I don't deduce who I am in Christ, I started to try to make these people like me. It was several different groups of people over the past 5 years. 
Recent events have really caused me to second think my decisions and beliefs then and now. In my Mops group we were challenged to keep our identity in line. The phrase that sticks with me is that our "identity should never be primarily mother instead the daughter of the King." Several verses have really struck a cord since then, "1 Samuel 16:7 But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart." and  Galatians 4:6-7 Because you are sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, "Abba, Father." So you are no longer a slave, but a son; and since you are a son, God has made you also an heir.

The last several years have been the hardest. I have been personally attacked and made to feel like I'm less of a person. I've felt unloved, unwanted and undesired. I've been made to feel like a bad christian, a bad wife and a bad mother. My life has been under a proverbial microscope and every little part has been analyzed. 

What it comes down to is this, I blame nobody but myself for allowing me to feel like less. Although others are guilty for what they've said and done, I am guilty for what I've allowed that to make me feel like. Eleanor Roosevelt said (or at least pinterest claims she said), "Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent." I have made my mistakes and apologized for them. I am not perfect nor will I ever pretend to be perfect. I am a sinner but at the end of the day I'm an heir to the kingdom of God and as a result, in Christ I am important, loved, needed, and enough. I'm a good mother, a good wife, a good friend and a good daughter. I will make mistakes but I will do my best, with God's help, to always own up to them and allow them to better myself. I'm done allowing others to dictate how I should be or feel. Isaiah 46:4 says, I have made you and I will carry you. I will sustain you and I will rescue you. My first and foremost identity is God's daughter. My second is being Joe's wife. My third is being Sophia's mother. That's the way it should be and aligned that way I will always be able to remember that in Him I am enough. He calls me HIS! How amazing is that?

God has truly blessed me. I have amazing parents, siblings, an amazing and supportive husband, a beautiful child, and great people in my life. The last several months God has placed some godly people in our lives that support us, love us and encourage us. He knew we needed this and has begun to heal my heart.

I challenge anyone that reads this to always remember their identity. Never think that you're without your failings but stand strong to who you are in Christ. Allow Him and Him alone to dictate your worth. In Him, you are worthy, holy and called. 

Friday, February 8, 2013

These are a few of my favorite things!

The last two days have been loooong. After naptime yesterday I headed to CVS to start some errands. Sophia had a well time diaper fill while we were out and about so I had to stop and change her in an awkward public bathroom (NEVER the same as home). About halfway through picking up some things, I overheard an employee mention how a car got hit in the parking lot. Soon thereafter they asked me if I was the proud owner of a Ford Escape. Why yes yes I was the lucky one who got their PARKED car hit. The lady even had the gall to go shopping and I waited by her car. After spending 25 minutes to get the insurance information from her, I was on my way home with said shopping basket ignored in the store. My bumper was so badly hit that it was falling off and cracked almost in half. So I continued to use the rest of ,my "errand day" on the phone to get insurance figured out. Oh yeah, that insurance information? Was ALL wrong!!! Today, I waited for the inspector guy to check out my car and he thinks it should be over 1600$ in damage. I proceeded to take it to the shop, get a rental (which my awesome bro in law helped hook up) and then head back home because it was already past nap time. She only got about an hour and then we went to run those errands we were supposed to yesterday. By the time we got home, Sophia was so exhausted that she refused to nap.

So this evening, I'm relaxing on the floor playing with my favorite one year old, God placed on my heart the song from The Sound of Music and specifically the lyrics: "These are a few of my favorite things"... It is so easy to think about how hard your days are and get yourself in such a tizzy and forget what good things are there for you. Sophia and I weren't in the car, we did not get hurt, we have awesome insurance that is helping make sure their insurance is working so we don't have to pay a dime, and we have a great car to go around in for the next week or so until we get our precious Escape back. Although, Sophia has had to be quite patient with me as I have dealt with all these things, she has been an absolute blessing. She's been pretty happy and not too fussy.

I think God brought that song to mind to remind me of what could have been; and so I am going to share some of my favorite things these days....

- My daughter's big hugs and kisses

- Bed time, hers AND mine

- My daughters imagination and humor coming out. It's been so fun to see this little kid grow up and not be a baby any more (shes currently wearing two of my reusable grocery bags and walking around the house)

- Her poop face. I still have yet to capture it on photo and as much as cleaning it up is no fun, the actual face will ALWAYS make me smile and laugh

- My sweet husband. He's really understanding more and more of how to bless me. The other day, I took a nap and he cleaned up the house some!

- The joy on my childs face when her favorite things happen.... (When music starts playing, she talks to her grandma and grandpa via skype etc)

- The small time when I get to craft and have some "me" time.

- the progress my husband and I are making in home renovations, especially in our "oasis"/bedroom.

We are truly blessed even with a car in the shop! Thanks God for making me think twice!

Friday, January 18, 2013

7 Months- forgot I had it saved!

This has been a huge month for you! Talk about growing leaps and bounds. We had a multi-destination trip this last month and you were such a trooper. We first went to Minnesota where you got to meet your great grandparents, my aunts, my uncles and cousins as well as some family friends. Mom and Auntie Abby met us there and we all drove back to Montana together. We then spent 2 wonderful weeks at the ranch. 

You had so many new firsts and had so much fun. You got your second tooth in... I can't get over how adorable you look with those two little pearly whites. Even though before we left you started crawling it was more like the inch worm crawl. Up down Up down. During the trip you became a crawling champion. Amazingly too- you also started to pull yourself up on things. Straws became a new fascination as you learned to drink from them. Not all of it is swallowed and there's a bunch of backwash but you think it's pretty cool. Of course we also can't leave out that you sat on horses for the first time! It was like sitting on big puppy dogs and you thought that was great!!!

Daddy couldn't believe how much you changed when we got back and loved seeing your personality come out. Oh Man Oh Man what a personality it is! You are hysterical- all laughs and smiles. We get lots of giggles out of you too. I adore watching you grow up sweet baby girl and am so proud of who you've become thus far.

Love you sweet thing! 

Long time no see.

It has been wayyy too long since I've hopped on here and typed up! So many things have happened.

- Sophia celebrated her first thanksgiving... It was a lot of fun that she could actually eat all of Gigi's food! She also took her first steps on thanksgiving day!

- As I figured, as soon as she figured out those few steps she took off! Less than two months later she is so close to running.

- S now has 10 teeth! 10!

- J finished his second semester of college; with fabulous grades. I am so proud of him.

- Supporting a husband that is in college and working full time is not easy and rather exhausting.

- I started refinishing my kitchen cabinets. They're looking gorgeous and have about half of them completed! Currently on hold until the bedroom gets finished... (See below)

- We celebrated Sophia's first birthday! I started planning early and I think it went really well! We did pink/teal with yellow and owl accents. She was all about eating the icing and didn't need much encourage to dig into the cake. I ended up pulling it from her because she was so enthusiastic. She had so much fun with all her new toys and thought pulling tissues from the bag was more fun than ripping up wrapping paper.

- We were impressed that Sophia went to sleep in a pack in play at a friends house, in the same room as their daughter went to sleep. Love the adult time!

- Our family got to spend Christmas with both sides. We hosted Christmas Eve brunch at our house (I even made delicious cinnamon roll from scratch!) and then we had way too much fun at Joe's brother's and sister in laws.

- Christmas morning we headed to Montana. Our flight got in at 11 and we got to spend two weeks with family. Joe really needed the break from both school and work.

- Our room is getting an Oasis makeover. Seriously, all parents need their space and we're working on making ours have some serious swag. In the middle or re-doing the floors (Pergo XP Handsawn Oak- GORGEOUS) we realized we wouldn't have enough... Wouldn't you have it? The flooring is out of stock... So now we're grateful that we have a guestroom while we wait for it. Also, taking advantage of no baseboards and I'm getting the walls painted!

- Joe started his 3rd semester. I swear, I never had this bad of luck with professors. I feel so bad for him. He's had such demanding and frustrating instructors. It's even harder because almost all of them have been really disorganized and if you know Joe, disorganized and lack of logic drives Joe BATTY!

- We're trying to plan a getaway/honeymoon. Finally! It's been almost 4 years in the making... It will be a little smaller than originally planned. But we will have a good time no matter what...