One Month

My dear sweet Naomi,
It's been one month since I started having contractions and called your daddy home from work. It's been one month since we walked into the hospital, got hooked up to machines and were told that you had already gone on to Heaven. It's been one month since I held you and looked at your sweet face. It's been one month since I left the hospital and you and man oh man do I miss you!

Sweet girl, my arms ache for you, my heart aches for you. There is nothing more than your daddy and I want to hear than your sweet cry, to hear you breathe and open your eyes for us. We would do just about anything to be awake all night rocking you.

We know that it can't happen and as much as we can wish it never will. So many people have shown how much they love you by loving on us. We've had so many phone calls, letters, gifts and acts of service. You are so loved.

I think about you in Heaven. In my heart, you will always be a baby so that I can hold you and have my time to rock you all night when I get there. I'm so glad that we have so many people that we have loved go on before us so that they can rock you and hold you while I can't. I wonder who was there first to greet you... Was it Grandpa Royal? Grandma Greta? Grandma Edith? Grandma June? Your cousins? Jesus?

The pain isn't as bad as a month ago but sweet girl. It will never stop. I will never stop wanting you here, wanting to buy dresses for you and your sister for Easter or thinking about you every time I see the color purple.

We never intended for the color purple to be that way but it worked out that way and I'm so glad. You see, your sister's newborn pictures were all done up in pink and we decided to do yours in purple so that they were the same but different. We used the color already in your room to design for the baby shower and since then it's just been what we think of for you. We had bought so many purple things and when I found out that your birth stone is also purple, well sweet pea, it just fits. I'm so glad.

Today I got so many sweet gifts to help remind me of you. Your sweet Aunt Beth brought a succulent in a purple ceramic egg, your Aunt Hannah sent purple flowers, your Gigi brought some beautiful yellow flowers and your daddy was thoughtful enough to buy me a beautiful pendant of a bluebonnet. Not that you will EVER be forgotten but I'm so grateful for these tangible things for me.

Love you sweet girl. Hope your one month celebration in Heaven was beautiful.

Always,
Your Mama