Thursday, January 21, 2010

Numbness is gone, reality set in...

The last week has been one big week of chaos! J had some alignments to do in his division that he had to do in the evenings so he was switched to the evening roster.... They allowed for him to be duty free since his days would be so off anyway which was a huge blessing! We had the days to get things done that we had needed to do for forever and a day! Thankfully this also worked out perfectly since he was supposed to have duty the day before deployment (yesterday). However, as the time came to a close, of course the plan had to change as well... Someone on J's division told chain of command that the alignments were done (which they weren't) and then they pulled these guys off of the evening shift... So of course what does that mean? They throw him on duty and we have no clue if I will be able to spend any time together before he leaves. AHHHH! He was able to come home for a couple hours before watch so he could help me finish packing for him! At 7pm he sent me a text and said, I'm coming home! Pick me up at 9:45! YAY! Being able to spend the last night with him was the most incredible thing ever... Just to see him, and hold him, to smile at him and laugh with him... to cuddle and to sleep knowing that I had a short amount of time made me completely enjoy every second!

We got up at 5:15 so that he could be on the ship at 6am. I grabbed Skip-bo on the way out thinking that we would need to keep things light-hearted instead of freaking out and talking about the impending deployment the entire morning. The Captain allowed for civilians to be on the ship till 9 am and the ship was scheduled to pull out at 10am. Finally at the call for Civilians to leave the ship we walked out and the reality of why I was there started to set in... The wives were crying all around us and it made me tear up as well. Before we wanted to let go, the call for the sailors to go back on the ship happened and we had to say our "see you later's". One of the worst things and best things ever was to watch him across the edge of the pier as they took forever (1 hour) to get the ship ready... We were able to talk a little and I tried to be strong by making faces and making both of us laugh... I realized in the last couple days more than ever how much I LOVE my man. He's the most incredible person and he's proved to love me more than I could ever expect. He made my heart melt last night when he told me that he never thought that he could love me more than he did when we started dating and that he's fallen more in love with me every day. The feeling is so very very mutual... I know so sappy right?
I watched as the ship left and as my husband's wave got smaller and smaller... I then transitioned to the other side of the base so i could watch them leave... In some ways it was difficult, in other ways I'm glad I got to see them leave. It will be so neat to see the ship pull back in from the same direction that they left... Lets just fast-forward these months shall we?!
I was able to drive myself home (I had arranged for a girlfriend to pick me up if need be)... Then i pretty much crawled into bed. 2 hours of watching the ship leave in very cold weather made for a very frozen Sara. I was so completely numb that one of my best friends had to remind me to eat... After I finally ate, I realized how hungry I was!!! (It was 5pm and I hadn't eaten since 6 am and I'm a 3 meal a day person). With my belly full of food, the numbness disappeared and the reality sunk in...

I'm trying to be so strong. I am married to one of the most amazing men ever and am so blessed!!! I can't complain about him being gone when I have him the rest of my life. I will be strong, I will be strong! (The little engine that could...)


  1. You'll find that you are stronger than you ever imagined. If you ever need someone to talk to - hit me up :) [Thanks for following!]

  2. I already am finding that and am so glad! Thanks for the support!