The move.

Moving about every 2 years definitely had me in the "I have moving down" mindset, or so I thought! The difference was that before, I had my mother! And my mother had a company that paid for GOOD movers to come and do most/if not all the hard work! We were just responsible for making sure that anything we could want in the mean time was separated out.

I didn't expect our move to be a walk in the park, but MAN! was it different!!! I pushed us doing a move without government movers because I had heard horror stories of things getting stolen or broken. I really wasn't a fan of that happening PLUS, I knew we could make some money off the move which would be helpful in the whole finding a place to live situation.

Soon after we found out about the move, I called every type of moving company from you pack it storage containers to moving trucks. After calling back and forth with Penske and Uhaul (which over all seemed to be the smartest idea... the containers were going to cost 6k!) I ended up being able to talk Penske down to match and beat Uhauls price. Penske had benefits too... better trucks, longer time to move and unlimited mileage. We were going to put the Taurus on a trailer behind the truck and I'd drive the Escape while he drove the truck. During a conversation with my madre, aka mom, she mentioned that it was too bad that my brother couldn't help us move. Which got me thinking- what if we bought a one way ticket for J's youngest brother? Thankfully that idea worked out with a reasonable price and he was able to come to help us drive back (which was super helpful especially since I was first trimester exhausted and didn't know it yet.

We had a plan to drive outside of Nashville the first night, Texarkana the second and in the 3rd, but we made good time and ended up huffing it into Round Rock late on the second...

It was quite the drive. Nothing special about it... Just lots of truck stops along the way! But definitely, quite the experience!

The giraffe

So I know I promised to blog about the move, that one is still coming however I found something tonight that I felt needed to be shared.

It all starts with a sweet baby giraffe toy that looks similar to this one.

From the second we said I do, we got asked when we wanted kids and given plenty of advice on when we should have one... Whether this advice was wanted or not (more on the latter side) we were told we should wait or not wait, how long and just way too much TMI information. We knew that we really wanted to have kids young. We wanted to be the fun parents, able to be involved and play on the playground. Be young when our kids go to college, have babies of their own and almost more so... We wanted to be young when they they left so that we could have a lot of young time together. Maybe sounds silly but we really wanted to be able to enjoy each moment and not just be the parent in an easy chair. Maybe this stems partially from the fact that my grandparents are almost 90 and I never really had any of that with them... Who knows. All we knew is that it's what we really desired. Add onto that fact that we both like kids and it was really a no brainer.

Joe came back from deployment in August of '10 and we just put the baby in Gods hands. In truth we really were hoping the answer was sooner than later. As the months rolled on, I couldn't help getting concerned. I blossomed young and never had any female problems, always thought I'd be "fertile myrtle". We did have some concerns with Joe since he got shocked by about 1200 volts and was around a lot of radiation in the navy, we hoped though since the radiation had been off that things would be ok. More months rolled on and I got more and more emotional (although I always tried to make myself not) when I knew that I hadn't gotten pregnant yet. I remember tears just rolling down my cheeks saying, "God, I would love a baby. A baby would be so taken care of in this family. Why not me?".

A dear friend of our family found out she was pregnant in late fall before her husband deployed and while we couldn't be more excited for them, I still ached for that child. One day we were at target with them and saw a sweet little giraffe that was on the end cap marked down to just dollars. It plays a gentle melody and seemed perfect except for the fact that the belly seams were coming apart. Joe fell in love with it and said it would be for our kid, or maybe for our friend's but either way, "I could fix it right?". I said sure and brought it home and with hope for that one day stitched those seams up.

Months continued to roll by. We were almost at an accumulative year of no news. The sweet giraffe sat in our guest room closet where it would make me smile and tear up at the same time. We thought that we would start looking into adoption, especially since I always did love that idea anyway. Although the science is there, we never really wanted to go heavy into infertility treatment because we didn't want blame to get placed or hurt to happen between us.

Joe got the job and we just figured that maybe it was a good thing that I didn't have a newborn in my arms (or 9 months pregnant) as that would have made the move difficult... Anything to still remain optimistic but really in my heart of hearts I had given it up to God. He knew my heart and if that meant that some sweet orphan needed a home we could give it to him/her... Along with a giraffe.

The move came and went and one day in the car with Joe's mother, she sighed on the fact that she wouldn't have a grandchild in 2011, "Unless you're not telling me something..." We laughed about it but later on counted the days... Somehow in the move, we kind of, well forgot! The next morning I told Joe I wasn't moving from the bed until he got me a pregnancy test and so off to the pharmacy he marched... It wasn't the first I'd taken but hey, I was late! I came out of that restroom absolutely in tears and we both jumped up and down. God had given us our baby! I was overwhelmed.

I hadn't seen that giraffe again until tonight. I unpacked a box and it was sitting on top of everything. I got tears in my eyes. We're going to have a baby to give that giraffe to after all. God just needed to teach me a little lesson about patience and hope, trust and love. At least thats how I see it... Maybe he has some more ideas up his sleeve for me. I'm ready for that though, he really has good plans for this family!

How this all started...

When we first got married, we were all for staying in the military for 20 years until retirement. Joe had already been for a couple years, we had done the whole dating relationship via long distance and were just ready to do it! Being married is a completely different scenario. Joe enjoyed being home and it slowly began being harder and harder for him to get away (for both of us.) As we thought about a family we knew that it would have to be worth it in order to stay in. Worth it to us meant progressing well, ie either getting into the Officer program or going the LDO way (another way but ending up as officer). We started the long process of applying for the said program and he the bulk ended up happening during deployment which was good and bad. It did mean more stress for him and less time on the phones/emails but it also meant it getting done without taking away face to face time. The door was closed on that program in a way that to me meant that God had a hand in it and something better planned. Because he wasn't going to be able to make officer for years and maybe never due to the low retention rates etc we decided to look outside of the military. Looking at what he may be actually enjoy along with what appreciates military experience over just a degree we started looking into a police officer position. After another extensive process, during the 1st interview round God shut another door. My poor husband had a lot of not so good feelings during these two closed doors but we had to remain hopeful. In February Joe was home early and decided to check out some job boards. He impulsively decided to apply for a job in Austin in the Semiconductor agency and two hours later got a call saying they want him to interview. Pretty amazing! This job ended up being for Samsung and they said they wanted him in May... The soonest we could get out of the military was August! Lots of praying and thinking and finagling and we found a de-manning clause in the navy where he was able to apply and GET an early out! So incredible! Lots of worries and stress involved but we got the job and we're now in Round Rock where Joe works at a stable job, we have a great house we bought and a little one on the way. We're so blessed and can't wait to see where God takes us next, even if they're little changes!

Next blog on the move!

Oh how life changes!

I so apologize to any that actually cares that I haven't blogged in forever! I do intend to start again but we'll see how long that lasts!

How our life has changed since the last post...

1. J applied for a job on a whim and 2 hours later got a call saying they wanted him to interview. (February)

2. J got the job (in Texas) and was told they wanted him to start in May (he wasn't supposed to get out of the military until September- we kept thinking how is this possible!?!)

3. J was able to go through a "loop hole" if you will and was able to start leave 1st week of April.

4. I quit my job and started the moving process, planning where to live, how to move, put in our apartment notice etc.

5. J's brother flew out to help us make the drive. We put the car behind the huge Penske truck and drove the SUV with hotel bags and dogs as the pilot car.

6. We lived in a hotel for almost 2 months while we found a house and closed on it. We moved in at the end of May.

BUT meanwhile

1. Joe started his job at Samsung

2. AND we found out we were expecting an addition to the family- We're pregnant!

Talk about changes!!! In the upcoming blogs I'll explain more but feel free to ask questions!

What being a military wife means to me

I've written many different definitions and explanations over the years. This is by far one of the hardest I've ever thought to write. Quite simply the answer could be being a wife to a member serving the country. I think, however, that answer would be given by those that haven't been there. Answers such as in urbandictionary.com (go ahead, search "military wife, I don't have the heart to put it on here) are what many military wives actually face. I've heard "you knew what you were getting into" and so have many other of my fellow military wives. Interestingly enough, I was speechless in January when a man living in my parent's home town was insistent on meeting not only my husband but myself because he wanted to personally thank "US". He put much emphasis on that I serve right along my husband and that the job of a military wife is far from easy. Before we left to fly back to where we're stationed, this man called and left a message on my parents answering machine. This message included a prayer for strength and safety and blessings on not only my husband but the one who was serving next to him: me. This brought tears to my eyes. I had never heard someone say these kind words to me. Sometimes my husband but not me.

I'm not in it for the accolades. None of us are. Trust me, the accolades would not even scratch the surface on making it worth it all. We get asked why we do it... In truth I think for all of us is that the price it takes to be with that individual is worth the cost. We're willing to have our significant other leave us for 6 + months at a time with no visit. Some people have tried to compare deployments to business visits. I can assure you that my spouse does not think of it like that. There is no overtime available first of all. Secondly, the hours are not the same. Most of deployment my sweet husband would only be able to sleep 4 hours a day. Sometimes that was long. Business men get hotel rooms, ours - bunks with 3 inch thick mattresses. Even though they are ugly, paintings are on the walls but on the ship all they see is gray. Oh and the food? Plane food is often more edible.

We're willing to be the other woman. The navy is their first wife. When it bids they must go. There is no possibility of saying no, or later. No sick days. Their schedule can change on a whim. It's normal to have to work 36 hours straight. Not once a lifetime but twice a week. It's a military wife's struggle to abstain from telling someone they don't know what they're talking about when they complain about missing their husband after a couple hours.

We learn another language- military acronyms. We know how to sew on patches or send them off to our favorite shop. Having a power of attorney is a normal thing, so is knowing their last wishes. Their favorite beer is always stocked in the fridge- that is when they're home. Phone cards are steadily filled and refilled and we quickly learn how to connect in a 15 minute max phone call. Sometimes only once a week. Other wives teach us their tricks or tips such as numbering emails because they easily get lost somewhere in the transit.

Any commercial, song, video, news report etc that has anything to do with a service member will have us crying. Patriotism has a whole new meaning.

We become the extra shoulder when the day is tough. Willing to never completely understand or know what they have seen overseas but love them in a whole other way. We are willing to never be able to plan anything. Just being with our spouse has to be enough. Theres very little time for vacations. This was something I learned even before we got married. I knew that there wasn't going to be time for a honeymoon. It's still tough though to swallow jealousy when I hear of other people's honeymoons.

We're faced with the reality of the "real world". Do we leave the haven of "free insurance" (trust me we pay for it in other ways), of no layoffs (as long as you continue to make rank, stay fit etc), of commissary's and NEX's and the dysfunctional military family? People telling you both sides. Do it and Don't do it. "I don't know how you can do it" comes into play again but this time not on how we can maintain a household while not knowing where our spouse is, this time its how to completely change our life.

The answer is always the same though: we do it because we have to.

"God, what is YOUR plan?" leading to... "I'm just on for the ride"

This week my kick "a" husband is in Austin for interviews for a potential job because next year he will be getting out of the navy. Some history on this is in the last two blogs... He did a ride-a-long with a police department which is good for his applications and also just for his knowledge. He absolutely loved it... It was awesome to hear the excitement in his voice. To know that the future job that your husband may have is one that he's going to love is the best feeling ever.

This morning, I got the worst feeling ever. I got a call at 8:30 from my husband who was supposed to be in the middle of testing. He had to do so many sit-ups and push-ups and a good run. The guy holding down his feet was leaning too far forward and made it difficult for J to complete a situp because he was going to hit the guys head. So because of this, he was unable to go as fast as normal and thus was one less sit up than they required. My husband is in the military and very much in shape. This test was supposed to be no problem.

So we thought.

My husband was upset with himself and of course the stupid guy. He was bummed and was worried of how I would think. I did not blame J by any means but just was astonished that they would disqualify him that easily and would't let him try again. I couldn't believe that this was how it ended because we believed there would be no problem.

We had this all figured out. All planned out. We were overconfident with OUR plans.

So my mind starts running, "Was this not God's plan? What is His plan? What now?".

My sweet mother-in-law put it succinctly, maybe this IS God's plan? Maybe God is sending us in another direction to protect us and he had to use that guy....

So my heart still wonders but the anxiety isn't quite as prevalent. Rather, I'm excited to see what God has in store for us. I know it's going to be big. It's so scary but I'm getting so excited. God is good and man am I glad that I'm not in control! His control is sooooo much better and I know his plan will be too...

So again, just another little piece in this family's saga. This should be super interesting! Stay tuned.

God is in control...A lesson in letting go. Part 2

After that one phone call question that seemingly changed everything, J and I began discussing our future. Where did we want to be in ten years? What type of people did we want to be? Where did we want to raise our family? How did we want to raise our family? These types of discussions led to another comment. I reminded my husband of a comment about his desire to be in law enforcement and asked if this was still the case. This was the beginning of our new direction. After months of preparing Joe's package to try to do the switch between enlisted and officer and a quick swift door closing in that direction, we were started on another long interview process.

We began thinking, where would we move? We do have have family's in the same state and I have never truly been able to call a place home. We both are not crazy about Virginia and I know my allergies will thank me for leaving so Virginia has never been a real option but rather a last resort. With the decision that we wanted our kids to be raised with grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins we knew that Texas or Montana were our first two places on the list. We talked about Montana where my parents are currently residing but how long would they remain there and how was the job market? Did we want to deal with the cold? (Joe had no problem with that last question, but I was a little iffy.) We then moved on to Texas. Did we want the heat? Yep, that was the only real question. All of Joe's immediate family lives within a 3 1/2 mile radius and the majority is within 30 minutes. The job market was good as there are so many different police departments. We also both love the city. So while Joe was still deployed he began the second interview packet. This interview packet included some very personal questions and a lot of digging... I caught myself thinking, man am I ready for this? This was a big change. No longer would I be able to ask: "Do you have a military discount?" (this may seem trivial but it just is a small part of the big military picture.) We would have to pack up, and move our two vehicles, two dogs and (multiplying) belongings over 1300 miles. We would have to find a place to live, I may have to find a new job.. and oh that thing called friends which are finally starting to happen. Yep- gotta leave them again.

In so many ways, it really is like starting all over again. Was I ready for this? Were we ready for this?

While visiting Joe's family in August, Joe delivered his huge (I believe it was like 60 pages) application to the Austin City Police Department. He scheduled his next interview (They go through 2 sets of interviews and then you have to go through the academy) for the first week of November. This interview consists of physical and mental exams. He will have to take a polygraph test! (I laugh at this from the psychology perspective... so not accurate!) We had to buy him a suit and a plane ticket and reserve a rental car. This is a big step! Not only are we trying to get out of the navy but we're putting hundreds of dollars into this interview process.

Can you say trust?

I started doubting and wondering and just being my little worry wort self. Along with this is the question that I think just about any married couple asks. The question of children. I work with kids all day long and as much as some people may think it is great birth control, I just wish I got all the happy moments too.. I get the tears and the naps and the lunch time meal but I don't get the cuddles in the evening and all the laughter and happiness. I can't wait to have that myself. Now that we're married and in a different place in our life I find that we are around a lot of couples with kids. J has gotten the opportunity to hang out with children and see what a blessing they are. We have met a great couple and they've truly become such blessed friends. Their daughter is such a joy and it just warms my heart to see how happy and content J is with her.

Beginning on the wedding day, we started to get comments about when were we going to have babies... Crazy how people start that early huh? We get advice whether we want it or not on starting early or waiting and having kids later in life. We have come to realize how to turn off our hearing for this unwarranted advice and know that in so many ways we will never be completely ready. It's a life changing experience for many reasons. Since we're both family oriented we knew that we wanted kids earlier on in life... The question was just when.

We kept wondering when God wanted us to have kids and started worrying about this and that. My weird and worry wort worries were about adding a kid to the mix of moving. God used my mother in laws blog to speak to me. Her story is one in many ways similar to ours. The young couple decided for her to quit her job and her last day of work she found out she was pregnant with baby #1. It was a lot of finagling and concern about money but God never failed them, their needs and then some were always met. God is truly good and never failed to provide. This hit me hard and by the time I was done reading I had several tears rolling down my face. I kept wondering when would be the right time to have kids and wondered if it was before we left the navy, if it was during the academy or waiting till he was done with the academy or maybe when Joe's career was settled. Everything had its positives and negatives. Mama B's testimony just reminded me that God never failed and no matter having Him in control of the ride was the best place to be in...

I feel like the last year has aged me, but in a good way. I learned some lessons to never forget. God is in control. It's never easy to relinquish control or to assume the back seat. It's never easy to recognize that sometimes our own wishes and goals do not align themselves with God's will. But without a doubt, it is a path worth taking.

I can't wait to see where this path leads. Who knows where we'll be a year from now... Keep yourselves prepared! This family is on the move, and it may be one heck of a ride!